Empathize
L.O.V.E. Letter – Day 7Make a Journey Map
Think of somebody with whom you’ve had an argument, or who annoyed you recently.
1. On a blank piece of paper, draw a timeline of their life leading up to and after the episode that is bothering you. The timeline can be a couple of hours, a daily routine, or stretch further back in time.
2. As they relate to the episode bothering you, label the person’s
Goals
Challenges
3. During your interaction, label how the person is
Feeling
Thinking
4. Imagine yourself running through the journey you have mapped out as the other person.
What do you notice?
Why am I doing this?
Sources
(A) Validation of Emotional Experience Moderates the Relation Between Personality and Aggression Nathaniel R. Herr, Evelyn P. Meier, Danielle M. Weber, & Danielle M. Cohn
(B) Lambie, John A., and Anja Lindberg. “The Role of Maternal Emotional Validation and Invalidation on Children's Emotional Awareness.” Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, vol. 62, no. 2, 2016, pp. 129–157. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/10.13110/merrpalmquar1982.62.2.0129.
(C) Kellie St.Cyr Brisini, Denise Haunani Solomon, Xi Tian. How the Comforting Process Fails: Psychological Reactance to Support Messages. Journal of Communication, 2020; 70 (1): 13 DOI: 10.1093/joc/jqz040 https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/03/200326124206.htm
Valdesolo, P., Ouyang, J., & DeSteno, D. (2010). The rhythm of joint action: Synchrony promotes cooperative ability. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 46, 693-695.
Sharon-David, H., Mizrahi, M., Rinott, M., Golland, Y., & Birnbaum, G. E. (in press). Being on the same wavelength: Behavioral synchrony between partners and its influence on the experience of intimacy. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. ResearchGate
(E) Gordon, A. M., & Chen, S. (2016). Do you get where I’m coming from?: Perceived understanding buffers against the negative impact of conflict on relationship satisfaction. J Pers Soc Psychol. Dixon-Gordon KL, Peters JR, et al. Emotional processes in borderline personality disorder: an update for clinical practice. J Psychother Integr. 2017;27(4):425-438. doi:10.1037/int0000044